november was a very full month and i can’t believe its already december. i can’t believe its been almost six months since jared and i got married. and i can’t believe that in three seemingly long days we will hopefully know whether we will be having a baby boy or girl….in less than five months. what?! how is all of that even true? how is all of that my life? i am so thankful and so blessed, but sometimes i don’t even believe its all true. this has not been a normal year.
i think being the oldest child definitely sped up the growing up process. even though i have the greatest mom ever, i felt it was, of course, my duty growing up to make sure my brothers were taken care of and were obeying the (or my) rules. i guess its the plight of being the oldest child/daughter.
but even though i have always felt older than my youngest-kid-in-the-class age, i don’t feel like anything could make me feel old enough or mature enough or ready enough to be a parent and have the responsibility of raising a child. jared and i decided awhile back that there wouldn’t be a magic number of years or money that we would have to reach in order to qualify for having kids. so even though we feel young and uprepared, i have to remind myself that in 2 years or 5 years or 10 years, when there is maybe a few more dollars to our name and few more life experiences under out belt, we will probably feel just as young and just as unprepared.
so when i’m feeling a little (okay, a lot) unprepared, i am comforted by this truth:
3Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
psalm 127: 3-5