unworthy

“will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘come at once and recline at table’? will he not rather say to him ‘prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? so you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘we are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'”

luke 17: 7-10

the Lord used that scripture the other night to really test my heart on a not-so-great day. it made me think about what it was exactly that i have been commanded to do.

if i am a follower of the Lord, then i commanded to love Him with all my heart, soul and mind. if i am a wife, then i commanded to respect and serve my husband. if i am a mom, then i am commanded to raise my children in the knowledge of the Lord. if i am a member of God’s family, then i am commanded to build His church and His kingdom.

these commandments are the basic duties of what it looks like for me to serve the Lord. they are not things i choose to do as a favor to my family or those around me. they are not the things that i should be praised for doing. they are not the things that i do with a spirit of martyrdom. but how often i get that wrong.

and yes, the good news of  Jesus is that there is grace and love so undeserving. but, help me remember i am an undeserving servant when i am acting like an entitled child. especially when i acting like an entitled child. help me remember that you freely give these gifts, but that it’s on no merit of my own.

give me a heart to serve that’s only motive is obedience. a heart that says “i am an unworthy servant, i have only done what was my duty.”

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steadfastness

“Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” james 5: 11

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productive

life has been very busy and very full and very fast. most nights after winn goes to bed i have plans to be productive and most nights those plans end with me being, well, not productive. so while my head and heart are overloaded with all the ins and outs of our life right now, i thought maybe a little photo update was in order.

even during the crazy weeks, my days look pretty similar. a lot of hang out time with this girl. and i’m pretty okay with that. sitting up like a big kid.

i’ve been never been much of a fan of the color pink, but there’s something a little magical about a little girl and that soft pink color.

she’s started crawling. kind of. she can make her way all the way around the room, she just gets inventive on how she does it. like this.

thankful for the best mom and technology that lets me pretend she’s hanging out in the living room with us.

winn is so, so curious. she wants anything and everything that’s in front of her or in our hands. including our food.

so, we decided to let her try out some food of her own. she seemed to like it, but also seemed just as interested in eating the spoon as she did the rice cereal.

and since learning to eat means ending up with most of it on her face and clothes, bath time usually follows. winn really likes bath time and really likes splashing. as for me, i really like her dad.

also on her list of likes, sticking out her tongue.

and just being all around cute.

well, at least i can say i was a little bit productive tonight. : )

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day at the fair

this past saturday we ventured down to the south carolina state fair with winnie and jared’s parents. we knew winnie was too young to really even notice we were at the fair, but it was still fun to bring her along and pretend she cared about the rides and the animals. plus, is there a better people watching spot than the fair? i don’t think so.

we had a lot of fun and ate a whole lot of fair food. i’ll warn you ahead of time, i had a hard time editing myself, so this post may contain an overabundance of pictures.

i said we ate our fair share of fair food but we did draw the line at deep fried butter. deep fried cinnamon butter balls. i don’t even understand.

chicken gyro. yes, please.

winn hung out in the stroller most of the day. i can’t get over how big she looks.

we bought some chocolate chip cookies from a stand inside. they were SO good.

jared and his mom post tilt a whirl experience.

i know this one is a little blurry, but it was our best attempt to take a picture of ourselves. we got in line to ride the ferris wheel. i don’t ever remember being put in the same ferris wheel cart with strangers before, but we were seated with a high school couple that had made out the whole time we were waiting in line. not ideal, but made for a very interesting and awkward ferris wheel ride.

winnie fell asleep in her stroller with her little legs crossed. so sweet.

lauren got off early and came to meet us. she’s such a celeb in this pic.

best aunt ever.

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perfect day


oh, hello again.

today was the most perfect early fall day. we spent a lot of time outside at the park and we even went out and got some pumpkins (fail on our part for not taking pictures.) i love this season.

she looks so old in this picture. it actually hurts my heart how beautiful she is.

later in the day, we went to park with lauren and beulah. winn and beu have had limited interaction so we let them get to know each other a little bit. winn was mesmerized by her.

until she wasn’t anymore.


just gettin’ a little beulah love.

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lately

it’s been a very full past two weeks.

jared’s been working like a mad man the last few weeks, but was able to slow it down a little this past week, which conveniently coincided with my birthday. it was a really good birthday, actually, the best birthday i think i’ve ever had, minus not having my parents around. winnie and i are going down to visit soon, which will mean my first solo plane ride with a baby. i think it may take all two and a half weeks before i leave to mentally prepare for that one.

speaking of that babe, she is actually the cutest thing ever. ever. and while she is so funny and sweet and charming with jared and i, she has developed a bad case of i-don’t-want-anybody-to-even-look-at-me-other-than-my-mom-and-dad. it really is sweet how attached she is to the both of us, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to pass her around without worrying about her screaming at the top of her lungs. so, winnie, although i love holding you, maybe let’s try and work on this one?

winn also gained a playmate a little early this week. good friends of ours, geoff and cheyenne schultz, were pregnant and due with their baby boy mid september. due to some complications, he needed to be delivered early and he was born on tuesday. after some more health complications with cheyenne, she and baby boone are now healthy and recovering well. thank you Jesus! we are so excited to meet him.

my project for the rest of tonight is to update winnie’s baby book and by update, i really mean begin. i know i really want to have that for us and for her to look back on, but, yeesh, not doing so hot so far.

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life as a story

i just finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years this past weekend. i devoured it over just a few short days. i love all of Donald Miller’s books, but this one was especially good, especially timely.

jared and i have talked a lot lately about what it means to have our life and our children’s childhood be an adventure. what, if we can have any say, we want them to remember and experience and learn as they grow up. and i think in talking about it, it’s really made us think about what a life of advenuture really is. what makes a life adventurous and what makes a childhood exciting. what will make our children grow up and dream big.

i used to think adventure meant you had to go somewhere new and do big things and travel a lot and live in foreign countries and be a missionary and hike up mountains. and while there’s no doubt adventure can be all of those things, my definition is beginning to grow outside of those limits.

somewhere in the middle of college, the city of Seattle began to sit heavy on my heart. i didn’t really know why, but somehow it would always creep up in my heart and i would pray over it and ask God what He meant by it. then after my junior year, jared and i went out to visit lauren, who had just moved out there. i finally had the chance to go visit a place that my eyes had never laid on, but my heart felt so connected to.

and i loved it. and jared loved it. and on one really memorable night, we went for a walk. we decided that the next spring we would graduate college and get married and move out to Seattle. and then it made sense, why this place had been so on my heart. it was going to be where we were going next. this was going to be the beginning of our adventure together.

we went back home and settled into the summer, i was home in florida and jared was in charlotte for his internship. we talked and dreamed about how different our lives would be in a year, married and living across the country. but then something shifted, God was taking our story in another direction. and no matter how many times we tried to edit it to include what we thought it should include, it just didn’t read right.

it seemed as if Seattle was where the adventure would be. a big city, far away, where we knew no one and everything was new. but maybe we’re learning that having our lives be an adventure doesn’t depend on how new the place or how impressive our resume of activities looks to others. maybe our challenge is to have a new idea of an adventure. to realize that wherever God is calling us is where the real adventure is. because we have been apart of things here in Charlotte that i could never have imagined. and we have learned things about the character and nature of God that we would have never seen or experienced if we weren’t here in our calling.

and if that includes traveling a lot and living in foreign countries and being missionaries and hiking mountains, then great. but if not, that’s great, too. because our story and the story of our children’s life will be the greatest adventure when we are walking in way the Lord is calling us.

and it doesn’t even really feel right to say that it’s sacrificing our idea of our story, because what we get in it’s place is so good, so sweet.  because what i think makes up a good story is pale in comparison to the story that God wants to take us through.

our life will always be an adventure with Him. and i have a feeling we won’t be disappointed.

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